Get off the phone!

"Move it! Green light!"
"What is your problem?"
"Turn your !#$*&#% lights on!"

Do you ever find yourself using phrases like these when you're behind the wheel? No? Well I do.

Here's what I have concluded after being a licensed driver for nearly 10 years: people cannot drive. Everywhere I look, I see bad drivers. Passing on the right, traveling 55 MPH in the high-speed lane of your local interstate, not signaling before turning, you know the drill.

Aside from putting every motor vehicle operator back into driver education training for a refresher course, there isn't a whole lot we can do to stop this nonsense. But I have an idea. And if we recruit enough people in as many places as possible, I think we might have a chance to win this war.

Let's say you're driving home from work at 7 p.m. Darkness has fallen and all you see are white headlights and red taillights. Except for that guy. What is his deal? Driving without his lights on? He could kill someone! I didn't even see him until he was right next to me.

Or how about you are meeting your new lady friend for lunch on a Saturday at a nearby cafe. As you accelerate through a green light, another vehicle cuts right in front of you from the left lane, almost sideswiping your certified pre-owned somethingorother.

Instead of laying on your horn for five minutes, calling the other driver every four-letter word you can think of, and extending a certain finger out your window, how about holding a sign up? Suppose we manufacture signs that we can hold up to our window so the offending driver can read them?

To the first example of driving without headlights on, simply pull up next to the car, honk your horn to get the operator's attention, and hold up a sign saying, "TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON!" Feel free to use your dome light for added visibility at night. And to the person who cut you off, use this creative banner: "LOOK BEFORE YOU TURN!"

With everyone's help, I think we might be able to solve this bad-driving problem that plagues our nations roads. My take on this is simple. If someone commits a traffic offense in front of you, don't you feel it is important for the person to know he or she screwed up? Don't you think it would benefit other drivers if the guy or gal in question is informed of his less-than-perfect road skills? Instead of brushing it off, I think it is important that we alert people that they cannot drive.

This is why the sign idea is a good one. That elderly woman traveling 55 MPH in the high speed lane? "GET OUT OF THAT LANE!" The teenage moron who's been licensed for two hours, weaving through traffic like he's responding to a fire? "SLOW DOWN!" How about that guy yapping on his cell phone and not paying attention? "GET OFF YOUR PHONE!"

To play down the risk of a confrontation, do not use obscenities on your signs. Because we have all flipped off the dude who decides to fight back. You know, he starts to tailgate you, pulls up alongside your car at the next light and stares you down ... yup, I've crossed that bridge. Let's try to stay away from that.

So the next time someone passes you on the right, idles at a green traffic signal, or fails to use his or her directional before turning, don't use the old one-finger salute. Reach over to your passenger seat, find the appropriate signage, and display it for all to see.

Jason's traffic signs are copyrighted material and cannot be used without the expressed written consent of Jason or any of his representatives. Any attempts to illegally use Jason's signs are illegal and persons doing so will be prosecuted.

-Jason