A little off the top

I got a haircut today. Actually it was yesterday, but I just got home from work and today is now yesterday. Huh? Exactly.

Now that you're all confused, read on about my exciting 15 minutes at the Hair Cuttery ...

I strolled into the store, gave the front desk person my name, and was immediately called by an Asian woman named Phan. She was funny looking too; must have been atleast 50-years old, but her hair had been dyed bleach blond. Frankly, it wasn't a good look for her. Like, not at all. I thought it was a wig when I first saw it.

"How you want cut?" she asked me. I told her my standard directions to anyone who cuts my hair ... No. 2 blade here, No. 3 blade here, a little less than half off the top with scissors. Simple. Basic. Every time I sit in that swivel chair that moves up and down, I worry. Call me a metrosexual, but my hair is very important to me. I like it a certain way and if it is cut too short, it looks terrible. So whenever I give those easy-to-follow directions, I use my hands to demonstrate as I speak.

The cut started off fine, our friend Phan buzzed with the No. 2 blade and quickly moved to the No. 3. Then she rounded the back (as I requested), and touched up my sideburns. Oh no. The sideburns! I usually tell the stylist to leave my sideburns alone because I like to shave them and shape them to my liking. But something about that mini buzzer gets to the stylists. They all want to trim the 'burns just a bit.

Not wanting to offend Phan, I let her lightly touch them up. When I turned my head to the side to see her work, the left one was completely screwed up. Not straight and angled towards the ceiling, it looked like someone had snuck up behind me with an electric razor and put a big hole in the side of my face. Not to worry Devaney. I can fix that with the ol' Mach 3 later.

After a quick shampoo, Phan led me back to the chair and cut the top. And I have to say, she did a pretty damn good job. I was a little distressed after the sideburn mishap, but I tried to remain calm and have confidence in our little blonde friend. Is anyone else like I am? I watch those blades as if my life were at risk. I always worry about the stylist getting razor happy and cutting a huge line in the back of my head. Because if I was cutting someone's hair, I think it would be quite entertaining to shave my name in his or her hair. Luckily for me though, Phan staved off the urge.

The cut looked fine in the store's mirror, but what does that tell you? Nothing really. My hair was flat, still damp from the wash, and I was constantly itching at those tiny little hairs that stick to the back of your neck. No, these mirrors don't say much; the real test comes at home after a shave, shower, and some wax.

But alas Phan, my 15 minutes of trimming were a success. See you again in a few weeks. And FYI: I'd lose the blonde look.

-Jason